if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize