I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
