Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
