i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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