Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I could fuck to npr.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
