Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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