my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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