That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
That accounts for only three of the penises
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
