Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I want to be your penis for a week.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Randomize
