Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Whoa Z and x make the same sound

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(815): View more from Illinois

I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.

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(517): View more from Michigan

can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised

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(305): View more from Florida

I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.

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(419): View more from Ohio

cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.

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(305): View more from Florida

quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you

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(773): View more from Illinois

They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck

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(515): View more from Iowa

At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.

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