and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
