Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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