Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
