piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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