you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
