What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
