Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
