her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
