I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
