mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize