Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
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