thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
