They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
