He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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