if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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