I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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