your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
