I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
