they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
