never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Randomize
