The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
