She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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