wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
