remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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