Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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