Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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