Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
