The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
