Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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