Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
