And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
