But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize