i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
