Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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