It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
