plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
