what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
