I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
