Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
