Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i came on her dog
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
