Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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