it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
