I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
