You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
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