Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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