Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Randomize
