I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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