What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
