Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
