I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
