You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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