I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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